night entry 10
sigh, i forgot again TT
anyways, rant vent thing bc im so stressed and not stressed at the same time and it's driving me up the wall
like everything is stressing me out and not at the same time i feel so weird rn
like stuff related to romance, i want it but i dont want to super closeness of it bc i get reminded of my mom and how too close it feels and then id probably cut that person off bc im gonna panic and not panic at the same time and then i'll probably piss them off or something like what happened before except i dont remember bc i have bad memory but like im working on that and stuff
and not to mention i have to focus on myself as well since college apps and shit, then my flight stuff for my solo (im lacking so hard rn i feel like exploding rn)
OH and my comic, stuff i really enjoy and stuff
i think im just lonely atp 💀💀
i want someone close to me, but not too close (im probably confusing romance and friendship) i wanna dissect my brain and tell myself to make up my damn mind
ugh, anyways ive been writing more than drawing bc art block!!!! i need to get back to drawing rq and then work on my comic again and then worry abt other stuff that needs my attention i feel like exploding so bad rn i wanna just leave society atp and not have to worry abt "adult" stuff
anyways, that's all i have for now (i dont know who's reading this but yeah, hi (´；ω；｀) ), i'll probably make up missed entries by posting a bit in the morning if i have random thoughts so they might be shorter entries esp bc im in school lol